A Forever Friend

By Pastor Charles Schmitt

"A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity." -Proverbs 17:17

The saga of our youngest daughter, Jenny, and her little stuffed bear continues on. Just the other day Jenny misplaced "Teddy" again. She hunted long and hard for him and finally simply had to ask Jesus to help her find him. And within minutes she found him. He'd fallen behind the bed. With squeals of delight, she promptly reported her answer to prayer.

Jenny has had Teddy almost a long as she has been our daughter. And Teddy just grows more dilapidated with each passing year. His eyes are long since gone. His brown coat is faded. His fur is all "petted off." And his stuffings just continue to fall out. He's been lost and found, and washed and dried numerous times over the years. Consequently, he's a sorry-looking bear. Actually, he really has only one virtue-and that is that he is loved. For Jenny is his friend-and a better friend Teddy couldn't find anywhere! I have concluded as I have watched Jenny and her bear that the maxim is really true, that "beauty is in the eye of the beholder." But in Jenny I also have seen the profound truth of Solomon's proverb that "a friend loves at all times, a brother (or a sister) is born for adversity."

A friend loves at all times, not just when one is popular; and not even when one is right; and not just when one has something to offer in return! But a friend loves at all times. And this love is not just in clichés, but in deeds! At times we are all caused to grieve because we lose various friends in the midst of the difficult dealings of life. But if these had really been our friends to begin with, they would still be our friends today-for "a friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity." The only friends any of us every really have, in the final analysis, are the ones who are left after some calamity of misunderstanding has struck and some severe trial has broken in upon us. Adversity tests the worth of any friendship; and tribulation is the acid that proves a friendship to be true gold and not a cheap alloy. One author aptly comments that "true friendship is rare; its great value is in a crisis, like a lifeboat." And another writer simply states that a person should count himself very fortunate indeed, if he should have but one good friend to stand with him throughout all of his life.

Our truest friend is obviously Jesus. He loves us as undesirable as we are, just as Jenny loves her teddy bear. He searches for us when we are "lost," and He greatly rejoices when He finds us (Matthew 18:13)! Again and again He has proved worthy to receive the acclaim: "What a friend we have in Jesus!" I am reminded of the amazing statement in Matthew 26:50, spoken by Jesus to Judas, His betrayer-"My friend, go ahead and do what you have come for." (If ever a man could have had just grounds to abandon his friendship with another, Jesus did with Judas. Judas was a betrayer-Jesus' betrayer. And yet Jesus was the friend that loved at all times; He was the brother that was born for adversity. He was Judas' truest friend. Unfortunately, Judas was not that to Jesus. He was the false friend. It should be no wonder, then, that among all the glorious names that the Church bears (the Body, the Bride, the Army, the Temple, etc.), the Church is simply called to be a band of "friends." John writes of the Church in his third letter, "Peace be to you. The friends greet you. Greet the friends by name." Friends. Friends like Jesus. Friends that love all the time. Brothers and sisters born for adversity. This is the Church. For this is the life of the Church; this is what Jesus is like.

We are sorrowfully warned by Jesus that in the last days the mettle of all our friendships will be tried in the fires of great tribulation and severe adversity; and we are told to (sorrowfully) expect that we "shall be betrayed both by...brethren...and friends; and some...shall they (even) cause to be put to death" (Luke 21:16). Some will obviously do what they do because they are weak. On those especially we have pity. But others will do what they do because they are strong, even thinking that by so doing they are "offering service to God" (John 16:2). Presently, in this matter of true and lasting friendships, we are all yet running, so to speak, with the footman. In days ahead, we will be competing with the horses (Jeremiah 12:5). In other words, the pressures will intensify. So now is the hour to evaluate the foundations of our thinking on the whole matter of being a friend. Today I must ask myself, candidly, am I "a friend (who) loves at all times...a brother (who) is born for adversity?" Can I be depended on in a crisis? Will I remain loyal to you when the storm breaks? When you are left seemingly destitute? Unpopular? Can I be consistently looked to in adversity? In misunderstanding? Amidst the strife of slanderous tongues? Will I stand firm as a friend when I run the risk of being painted by the same brush as you? Am I there-consistently-to encourage and to correct? To uphold and to understand? Do I believe the best about you? Do I put the best-and not the worst-construction on a matter that pertains to you? Am I kind? Thoughtful? Prayerful? Patient? Do I bear up under all things? Believe all the good things about you? Hope all positive things? Endure all negative things? This kind of friendship is greater than all prophecies and all tongues and all knowledge and all faith put together. For this is eternal love. This is true friendship. This is Jesus! And this is His Church!