Verbal Challenges

Dealing with a verbal challenge such as "I disagree" creates a direct spirit of confrontation.

Steps to deal with this type of challenge are:

  1. Keep mouth shut
  2. Pray for wisdom (test of faith)
  3. Assess and evaluate the situation by:
    consciously place 'issue' as a third factor, not between but away from a direct confrontation. Each look at issue, not at each other. Consider one's own position is debatable, subject to change, being receptive to different viewpoints, and additional data. Be open to be influenced. Consider other's point of view as directed to the 'issue' not to self or your point of view, allow self to be open.
  4. Make a decision to agree or disagree on all points or partially.
  5. Direct thoughts or comments to the issue, not to the personality, look to the dignity and worth of the other as a paramount factor.
  6. Maintain the relationship, place the issue as a secondary factor. If necessary, submit to avoid confrontation if it involves an opinion and not an issue of conscience.

Points to Remember
Eph. 4:29 -Speaking wholesome words should become a way of life. Keep thinking this way until it becomes spontaneous. Think on ways of always building up not tearing down.

Be careful not to enter into an adversarial relationship. Resolve or eliminate the problem, not the person.

When someone states his position, "I think this", and the other does the same, 2 authorities are established, each will become defensive, and adversarial roles are established.

To avoid, don't state your position, giving reasons for it, but instead lead up to your position, stating your reasons, not setting your ground, allow self to be opened to receive suggestions and comments, then state your position.

However, if the other states his position and ground, ask him for reasons for his position, how did he arrive at this conclusion? Ask in a manner of not defending your position. Say something like "as I look at the situation, here are some of the things I've considered, "without committing self to a set position.

Another way or means to resolve is to restate his and your position without defending it, this will open up a possibility for a possible third alternative.

Key: Get problem out from between selves, get it out into the open where both can face the same way, working together to solve the issue.


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