James 4:1-2 - Anger, fighting, interpersonal conflict and frustration are addressed. All of these are caused by lusts and desires. For instance, I have an appointment, and traffic is heavy, holding me up. All those cars ahead of me are keeping me from getting to the appointment on time; thus, anything that gets in the way of my almighty will, my own sovereign expectations, becomes something at which I will become angry.
In a practical way, we exalt ourselves and assume our own sovereignty over situations and people. What I want controls how I react.
We need to come under God's sovereignty , finding forgiveness for pride and anger. Accordingly, we are to trust in God's sovereignty in situations that tend to upset us such as: traffic jams, unfairness, injustices, disappointments, not getting my way which prompt judgments apart from God.
The sinfulness of our anger is that when we play the judge to others, we play God.
The problem is deeper than just anger or just stoic self-control. Our anger outburst and interpersonal friction take place because we want others things more than God and godliness. Thus, inordinate desires causes one to play God. For instance, I want others to love and respect me, and if they don't I become angry. The desire for others to love and respect me becomes stronger than the desire to respect others. Because of God's love for me. I am to love and respect others regardless of how others respond to me. Thus, my concern would be for God's reputation and glory, not mine, and anger would have no cause to be expressed since self-centeredness would be removed.
It is only as a person is motivated instead by the sufficiency of the Lord and the need for personal godliness that he is able to look at life and the sins of others and respond in a constructive way.
When what I want becomes my god, I will be set up for anger. Anger is really judgmentalism with an emotional 'oomph'. We are to take the log of criticism out of our eyes, and deal constructively with the specks in others eyes, to focus on God and then to others. God becomes sovereign and we take our rightful role as a creature allowing God to live through us blessing others rather than defending and protecting ourselves, our own selfish motives and interest.
Therefore, anger is a behavioral symptom of a heart problem-idolatry, pride, bitterness, self on the throne of your life rather than God. Allowing God to be sovereign in our life, we would rightfully be angry at sin, and not at people, and thus, destroy the works of the devil rather than become his victim.
As we die to our own selfish interest and motives, picking up the cross, learning to become a blessing instead of a curse, our perspective will change, and we will become God's solution and be a healing balm to those who have suffered gross abuses from violent and selfish people.